The moves you make during and immediately following the end of your marriage can have a huge impact on your life, say the divorce attorneys at Stange Law Firm.
Not only can your actions play a role in how your divorce ends up shaking out, but they can have a serious impact on your mental and emotional health in your post-marriage world.
You’ll need to make informed decisions if you want to have the best outcomes when moving on from your divorce. With that in mind, here are a few common mistakes that you should be sure to avoid, and some advice on what to do instead.
Getting Too Hung Up On “Fairness”
Now, you might think that fairness should come above all else during a divorce, but as Psychology Today points out, dragging out the divorce in the quest for “getting what you deserve” leads both parties to lose sight of more important matters (such as children).
In the aftermath, you may well end up regretting your actions, and lament the fact that you lost perspective just to stick it to your partner. Instead, experts recommend, focus on keeping things equitable and prioritize more important matters than material possessions.
Cutting Yourself Off From The World
It’s an understandable reaction. Following a divorce, you’re likely hurt, and instead of letting people see you vulnerable you might prefer to retreat from society and into isolation. Keeping things all to yourself, however, is a great way to miss out on support from friends and family.
Instead of cutting yourself off, allow yourself to find strength in your community — be that your closest friends, family members, or some kind of support group that you join to gain resources and information about your current situation.
Hopping Into A New Relationship
On the flip side, trying to start a new relationship too soon after your divorce is also problematic. It’s hard to get things to work if you haven’t given yourself time to heal or you haven’t worked through your own emotions, so be sure to take things slow post-divorce.
Blaming Yourself For Your Relationship
It’s true that your marriage has ended, but that doesn’t mean you need to play the blame game with yourself. It’s a self-defeating cycle, and it’s not conducive to moving one, healing, or finding happiness. Let go of the emotional turmoil, allow yourself to grieve, and then get started with moving on with your life — one step at a time.